| Where did the time go? |
[18 Jan 2008|04:11pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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Ten weeks? I definitely thought it had been longer than that...
So I pretty much can't believe how much time has passed. It was so much easier back when this all started. How little worry there was in grade 8! Pleasantly HP obsessed and going to see filming in May... Radnet was still cool and the blue lagoon still existed. Heidi, Dawn, Jaz, Nikki, Leigh... I never hear from anyone anymore. How ironic that Im watching HP5 with my mom right now. Where did the past 5 years go? I don't deserve to be called an adult because I don't know how I got here. I'm in my first year of university and having a breakdown because I don't think it's the program for me. I wish everything were easier, wish I'd had another year to think about where I wanted to go...
If I switch programs,my mom and stepdad will be so upset because I'd be moving away and I'm finally closer to them after all these years. International relations sounds so interesting but teaching does have perks (like lots of time off) that I really could utilize.
People, languages, and making a difference... I know that's where I want to be headed. I want to be able to travel all the time, and meet all sorts of people and cultures and learn as much as possible... I can't see myself doing that in the stupid Northern University I'm going to...
I havent met half the amount of people I'd like to, the city is disgusting.. The campus is nice but I wish I could travel abroad NOW. Oh well. I'll have to save up money to do an exchange program in a year...
Hoping people are well if they're reading this, and not having a quarter life crisis like I am....
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| these days |
[05 Nov 2007|02:11am] |
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mood |
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 nostalgic |
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Is anyone ever around anymore? I havent been here in about a million years. I think how high schools gone and it really scares me. There are so many things I wish I'd done with those years... how id like to go back, despite the all the drama there is. It keeps getting more complicated. Never hear from heidi, though I do have jaz on facebook...facebook works miracles. Wondering how Dawn and all the other blue lagooners are doing, and whatever happened to Lai...I still have those naughty stories floating somewhere on my old comp. University demands far too much time. I assume i should go to bed now but it certainly is turning over an old stone, coming back here....
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[07 Jan 2007|12:45am] |
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Man...so long ago....well I hope you're all doing well and had good xmas holidays. SO much is new with me...I wish I could explain it. Let's just say much advanced in the love world, but still unloved...stress with classes...early acceptance to university...a lot of parties this school year..a lot of personal growth. I'm not on the best of moods but lets hope the year gets better!
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| What's Said and Done |
[07 May 2006|05:30pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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You say you fell while holding diamonds in your hands
"It's your fault for running, holding diamonds," I said
And I offer no sympathy for that
I hear that it was you who died alone
And I offer no sympathy for that
Better off I sparkle on my own
And someday love will find me in the rough
Someday love will finally be enough
Okay. So. What's new...Well all I can think of is that a) school sucks. I'm doing well but chemistry is slipping and I'm making tons of dumb mistakes. But that barely matters to me right now. I spent Friday night and had fun doing the simplest stuff- she bought the prettiest little cheese cake thingies, I loved them, and we made poutine. Ah, la joie de vie. Ladder 49 was a sad movie; I'd never seen it before. Yesterday I saw two of my old best friends...it's been ages. I hadn't seen Jess R. since January of gr.10, and Jess A. since september last year. I talk to Jess A. on the phone all the time and I finally went over to her house. Her parents were having a barn party so I helped out a little and when Jess R. came it was an explosion of laughter. I haven't laughed so hard in ages, it felt so good. These were my soul sisters back in grade 9. We talked about everything and basically stuffed our faces all night long. Two pieces of cake, chips, pop, vegetables, garlic bread, man...And we were up til 2 am listening to music and sharing stories. Once jess gets her g2 she's gonna drive out to see us. Can't wait.
Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance,
Chance,
Chance?
Or only one way that it was always meant to be,
Be?
Today I went with my parents to the tulip festival and the experimental farm park. We walked a good three hours and what with lack of sleep, I am so pooped. We went for lunch at malones, they have the best chicken fingers.
Other than that life is pretty normal. I'm so dependent on my friends right now for good times because it's only getting rougher as exams loom closer and more bull crap is happening. Hearing that someone you know and trusted is saying crap about you, that's hard to deal with. I'm finding it hard to trust people and to not be jaded when I look on the idea of love. I'm excited to meet someone more like me, to experience new things and discover the better things out there, but I'm going away for the summer so I'm not really expecting anything. Coffeehouse went well but we need Kevin to do our song (robynne and I)and I'm hoping to god he'll learn it. I love the song. That's really about it. I've been writing a lot lately and getting more active, it'll benefit me in the long wrong. There's this cool evanescence lyric..."I hear you at a whisper but you can't hear me when I'm screaming". It's how I feel right now...There's so much inside me longing to come out but it can't, and it's just easier to block it out and not deal with it, because it's just more trouble I don't need. Even talking about it doesn't help. It's just frustrating.
I'm so afraid to ask
I turn my back, block out the past
find me something true that isn't sad
I'm so afraid to ask
this solace never seems to last
I turn away as the sunshine fades to black
That's that I guess. Another week dawns....
Much love, Kristy
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| Lyrical Lies |
[25 Apr 2006|05:35pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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Good song. Cute is what we aim for. Get it.
So another week has gone by...Well, what's new? Alot, and yet, nothing. On the home front, we went out to dinner at Ferme Rouge with nancy's parents, sister and her boyfriend. They came down from Mexico. That was fun. There was entertainment too. Saturday I went shopping with Matt, Cindy and Steph, then we hung at stephs during the afternoon. That night James, ken, Jeremy, Josee and Chris came to hang out. We just ate dinner, played poker and talked, but it was fun. Hoping to meet up with Chris again. Coffeehouse is Thursday...I've been so swamped with work. Chem blows chunks and we have our summative + test tomorrow/thursday.
On the life in general...it's pretty good. What concerns I have I either talk out or write out. I wrote this poem called Handful of Roses which I thought of when hearing rumours about stuff happening this weekend. I just see people changing and being dumb in general and it's so frustrating...You can know someone for two years and think you know them so well, and then suddenly, in the space of a few short weeks, they are as unknown to you as the stranger passing you in the hall. The way they are, things they say, they do...don't follow any patterns you've ever known in them. It's like this display picture I found..."We used to be friends...we used to be lovers...now we act like we don't even know eachother." And that's how life goes right now. But all this thinking does no good because honestly, the way things are going, there's no point. It's useless. I have way better things to be dealing with so all I can feel is a pity and sadness to see such a good person disappear into the recesses of immaturity and stupidity. And I'll always wonder...where did he go? why?But I won't know.
Much love,
Kristy
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| Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end |
[17 Apr 2006|04:05pm] |
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mood |
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 lethargic |
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Sit tight, I'm gonna need you to keep time
Come on just snap, snap, snap your fingers for me
Good, good now we're making some progress
Come on just tap, tap, tap your toes to the beat
And I believe this may call for a proper introduction, and well
Don't you see, I'm the narrator, and this is just the prologue?
Panic at the Disco. Obsessed recently.^^
Well. A whole lot has changed in three months...So as I'm supposed to be studying chem I'll keep it short. I don't know if I'll link this off to my site so there's some stuff I can't be so open about if friends read it, but hey.
1)Dec.23-Apr.4. RIP Another relationship. It had its ups and downs and I'm certainly feeling the effects more than my counterpart, but a friendship is slowly rebuilding and we'll see what happens from this closed chapter. At least now I can look back and tell myself that I tried, and it wasn't meant to be. I'm not going to lie about the things I feel...Things are easier for the person who breaks up with you and that's fine. I felt something true, and I need time to cope with it. But I know in the end I'll find something so much better. Something for me.
2)G1 and going...I hate my instructor. But that's ok. My last lesson is soon and I want to die. I'm going to fail. KRISTY CAN'T DRIVE, WATCH OUT EVERYONE!
3) Classes are fine. 90's in all my classes except chem (go figure)...no problems there. Except the chem test I'm too lazy to study for.
4) Coffeehouse! I had to get a new partner but Kenny's helping me out. We might do another song, I don't know.
5) Easter was boring but I went to Kenny's bday...dinner and movies...some random guy gave me his number. Mike and I are also supposed to hit up the movies. fun fun.
6) Went to Toronto for the verve girl contest! I got a makeover, mani, pedi, I'm going to be in the mag and on etalk daily May 22. Watch it. My hair is #)$% messed now but hopefully I'll fix it eventually. Go to my site (orchidsandhypocrites.piczo.com) for pictures. It's fragments --> my other life x 2 (you'll know what I mean).
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[08 Feb 2006|08:11pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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Hey guys. Long time no talk. Alot of crap is new!
1) Term 2 now. Spanish, French, Chem, Peer Tutoring. I don't like it.
2) Kevin asked me out Dec. 23...we're still together. It was his birthday yesterday so I went over and had ice cream cake. OMG orgasm in the mouth! :p
3)I've been sick 4 weeks. Apparently my tonsil is enlarged and I have an infection of something or other...yeah no idea. Plus the meds he gave me say not for under 18. He was 65 and I think he's crazy.
4) I'm doing badminton now! HA HA HA
5)Went to a party at new years and acted stupid. I'm going out a little more, thank god.
6) FINALLY got my g1.
7) Starting drivers ed this weekend.
So I'm wondering where everyone is...um...Heidi? You there? You don't post in your LJ so I know something's up. Just wanna know how everyone is.
xoxo Kristy
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| hola |
[18 Dec 2005|03:47pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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Well...long time no been here. Grandparents over for my grandma's birthday. My drama play is this week, I have a tech rehearsal til 10...arg. EIGHT HOURS OF DRAMA. Then dress rehearsal til 5 tuesday, present it 1st and third wednesday, then 2nd and 3rd thursday. Thursday night as well. I leave Saturday for my grandparents to spend xmas with them, my brother and my mom/stepdad. Busy week! I went to stephs party yesterday. Kevin Ken Curtis Randy slept over. Kevin n I made out n stuff...It's a long story. We both really like eachother and his ex g/f fucked with his heart so he's afraid to hurt me again too, but hopefully we'll go out again, he does want to. Anyway life's busy and really crazy in general...hope you're all good!
xoxo Kristy
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[17 Sep 2005|11:53am] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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Hey guys. School's still really boring and blah. I made friends with Anna, an exchange student from Germany. She doesn't know many people and she's quiet but so nice. Bio is bad, I did really bad on the test ysterday. Math is horrible too. Friends are great though! But now I signed up for a class at Lunch called rec.leadership so I'll have 9 credits....SO I can't see them.
Last night we went to the Richmond Fair. Curtis, Cass, Devin and I dropped our bags off at Aleisha's and went to the fair. 23 $$ for a bracelet and entrance!! Sick. It's Richmond, in all of it's 5 ride splendour. Oh well.
It rained all night. By the end I was shaking, soaked to the bone. I went on rides with Caighlah alot and we talked about life on the ferris wheel. It was nice. The Scrambler was fun too, and 1001 naughts (sp?) I hung out with Aleisha, Devin, Cass, Curtis, Elena, Randy and Caighlah, but I saw other friends there too. Jess came and I bowled people over to see her. The night WAS fun. I had tons of laughs and stuff. It was also bad though.
The guy I like, Kevin Sunstrum (not my ex) was there with Jordan, who's a good friend of mine. I saw them a few times and each time Jordan talked to me and Kevin either ignored me, or was curt and somewhat snippy. I told them about the demolition derby and he just goes "we know where it is." ..."Don't you want to see it?" "No." {insert cold stare here}...And yet he chatted amicably with Kelsey, Chelsea, Sarah, all the other girls there. But ignored me. Just great. Apparently when he found out liz liked him he did the same thing...Makes me feel good, knowing last year we were good friends and he liked me in gr.10, the end of it too presumably, and grade 9. But now when I do, I'm some freak chick he doesn't want to talk to. Apparently he's popular now and arrogant about it. I'll never know...I guess I'll just have to ignore him myself and not think of it. I gave him a birthday card at school and said hi twice. Big deal. ARG.
Oh and I'm sick now too due to being rained on all night. Just GREAT. I'm going to steph's for a sleepover tonight with cin and Cass. That should get my mind off of it.
Cheers.
Kristy
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| We-he-hell... |
[06 Sep 2005|09:10pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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Hmm..First day of school. Pure blah. Well, no. 50/50.
We have no homeroom. It was anthro, first period. Cin and steph are in my class, its okay. Then...we get our lockers, and mine is already taken. WTFFFFFFF......So I had to carry my backpack around all day in my painful heeled boots instead of just getting another locker. I had enriched english, ok, then bio, ok, then math. NO. Nephin. NO. She's such a bad teacher. I spent all lunch sorting out the locker BS that I had no time to eat, and I was late for class too. Just brilliant.
On top of that I have 3 classes with kevin. Why is it that when you DO want a class with them, you don't get it, but when you really don't, you do? Fate deserves a royal kick in the ASS.
Long weekend...Shopping. Spent 4 hours and only got two shirts and pants, which I returned two days later anyway! I can't find a damn pair with no rips in them, so I had to spend 100$ on silver jeans. Jaysus. Went to fancy dinner with dancing and music. Our waiter was hot and took his shirt off. HAHA. I loved it. Went canoeing, didn't sleep a wink last night...And zat's about it. Man, I want a relationship again which is SO stupid, because I don't like anyone anyway and I am merely entertaining the notion. Still....ARG.
Love,
Kristy
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| Toronto |
[25 Aug 2005|12:25am] |
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mood |
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 content |
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Today was great!! ( mmmmmm... )
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| Finish Line |
[23 Aug 2005|01:35pm] |
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mood |
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 nervous |
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Getting red highlights in two hairs. I'm so effing nervous. I usually go blonde or something really practical. A couple people are behind me...but I suppose it's good to do that? To take chances. I'm a teenager. I don't drink, don't do drugs, I don't party...I'm pretty responsable and 'safe'. I'm never daring, really. I suppose its important to go against your better judgement sometimes, to live a little and learn in the process. I know it's just hair but I tried on my proposed back to school outfit, complete with black lace shirt, chic new skirt and knee length boots...and it's not the old me. Part of me is aching for a new me. More tough. We'll see though, maybe it's not in me :p My clothes can at least reflect something else...lol.
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| ... |
[22 Aug 2005|11:44pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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Why do I even comment on Kevin. lol. He pissed me off then we make headway the next day. It's so hard to hate him. Oh well. We talked tonight, normally. It might work but like I said it's his doing.
Made the conformation on viarail, Toronto to home with my friend Blythe. I'll see her this weekend and spend a day and a half with her. I miss her, we're alot alike. I've never been on a subway, much less with tons of luggage, so it'll be interesting to say the least.
I bought sexy boots today. Black, knee-length, high heel, lace up back. Goes well with my skirts I hope. I also got nice maroon/black ankle boots for 13$ on clearance. can't beat that!
Much love, kristy
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[22 Aug 2005|12:29am] |
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mood |
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 determined |
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Okay so...I'm very bored and it's 12 30 in the morning and I'm done doing as much possible on my site, so here I am. ( Read on )
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| hehe |
[12 Aug 2005|10:54am] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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Today marks the beginning of D-Day or D-weekend...Wish me luck! <3
P.S- Went shopping for belts, new PJ's, looking at boots I want...100$ :| Plus they have the kind of hell you can't walk on. Are those thin high heels bad for your feet I wonder?
Much love, Kristy
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| HAHAHAHA |
[10 Aug 2005|11:35pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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He brought up our breakup again. What a shitkicker. I started crying again, which I haven't done since the last time he hurt my feelings at my party...this funny. i think ben's right. I must still like him a tad bit. Either that or I just hate re-opening the wound, which i think is the right choice because I really don't think I like him anymore. And to think we were having normal friend conversations again...
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| Wow... |
[10 Aug 2005|03:08am] |
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mood |
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 grateful |
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Kevin, aka the-ex-who-I-considered-to-be-a-jackass, actually talked to me tonight. I'd been ignoring him because I hate what he's become but you know? It was all BS. The Sarah thing is apparently not true, and Rachel and him have only made out. He was asking all about how I was and my own love life, and I kept asking him, 'why?' He said he does care. Blythe told me to make up something neat, and I don't know why but I did, about this guy Nate and I. He kept bugging me about it endlessly so I wove this story, and he actually was interested. He even told me when he was dating me he had 'goals for me', like he had wanted to be the first one to have sex with me. Weird eh? We talked for 1.5 hours, about everything. He was open with me about all of his private stuff, which is new. I feel like such a hypocrite because I hate his guts one minute, and in the next I'm wishing the best for him.
I even talked to an old friend, Joel. He's such a cool guy. 18 years old. Tomorrow I have to help Lenny with work.
Life is so crazy..
Much Love, Kristy
HAHA Heidi look at the song I'm listening to.
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| ARG |
[09 Aug 2005|09:47pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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Okay. My frustration is mounting. Three days until D-day. AKA David day. I have theorized, planned, considered, and evaluated the whole weekend tenfold. Nothing makes it better. I am tres stupid ( because... )
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